ABT Focus Poem : Enthusiasm
Tell me not, in mournful numbers,
Life is but an empty dream! --
For the soul is dead that slumbers,
And things are not what they seem.
Life is real! Life is earnest!And the grave is not its goal;
Dust thou art, to dust returnest,
Was not spoken of the soul.
Not enjoyment, and not sorrow,
is our destined end or way;
But to act, that each tomorrow
Find us farther than today. Art is long, and Time is fleeting,
And our heats, though stout and brave,
Still, like muffled drums, are beating
Funeral marches to the grave.
In the world's broad field of battle,
In the bivouac of life,
Be not like dumb, driven cattle!
Be a hero in the strife!
Trust no Future, howe'er pleasant!
Let the dead Past bury its dead
Act,- act in the living Present!Heart within, and God o'erhead.
Footprints, that perhaps another,
Sailing o'er life's solemn main,
a forlorn and shipwrecked brother,
Seeing, shall take heart again.
Let us then be up and doing,
with a heart for any fate;
Still achieving, still pursuing,
Learn to labor and to wait. ~
Henry Wadsworth LongfellowMore Henry Wadsworth Longfellow Poems
ABT Real Stories : Kathy's Story - Part 2
So, I took a short run, had a bite of dinner and was ready to re-engage. I put myself in a more neutral position by asking myself, “If I were to behave in such a condescending, and resentful manner, what would I be feeling?” I realized that there were times I had felt apprehensive about my own ability to live up to standards or courses of action that I believed would be detrimental to my desired results. At those times I too have behaved somewhat ungraciously. It reminded me that it is a natural (not necessarily constructive or intentionally destructive, but natural) human tendency to wield intellectual superiority as a power play to protect the Status Quo out of a sincere fear of failure.
I also had interpreted their resistance to the agenda as if they were discrediting me personally, when in fact their resentment was directed at the objectives for our meeting. Feeling personally attached and attacked triggered my episodes of self-doubt. As I pulled into my garage my dog Shadow welcomed me home with his tail wagging with unbridled excitement. At least somebody still thought I was OK! His playfulness broke my preoccupation with the day’s difficulties and helped me disconnect from my negative feelings.
Once I put myself in the scientists’ shoes, I could welcome them (and myself) back to the human race. I was ready to mend the fences, so I scheduled a mini-meeting with the three most vocal critics. As we took turns expressing our opinions and feelings I saw their brilliance, creativity, and commitment to the company emerge. We explored the contributions product development could make to the success of the company and our different interests actually expanded the breadth and depth of what the scientists wanted to accomplish. They felt energized.
We re-convened the entire team and worked with our expanded agenda which lead the scientists to believe they could probably reduce development times by as much as 40% without sacrificing quality. The three scientists who had met with me developed strong professional ties with one another and became natural leaders of the group.
Since then I have become a trusted ad hoc member of the company’s scientific community and regularly coach their product development planning sessions. It also re-affirmed my belief that “telling the truth fast”, especially to yourself, opens you up to valuing multiple angles on the truth. This always leads to stronger, more productive relationships that enhance the greater good.
ABT Real Stories : Kathy's Story - Part 1
How would you react when faced with a similar situation as Kathy faced during her meeting? Read this ABT story that is common place in our daily interactions with people.
Kathy's StoryNot so long ago, I agreed to lead a strategic planning session with a group of scientists. The company had charged them with designing strategies that would maintain a high level of quality but reduce product development time by fifty percent. A tough but critical assignment. I went to the first meeting excited and energized, but after a short time into it, I knew this was going to be a challenge.
Moments before we started, the group was buzzing with chatter at the coffee bar. But, once we started the meeting, the scientists were as silent as fish. Nothing I said or did sparked conversation. I soon started second-guessing myself and felt like I must be stifling this group of otherwise lively and talkative scientists.
Eventually they started talking, but the discussion mushroomed into a complaint session about impossible time limits, stifling innovation, burnout, retention problems, etc. They bashed management and castigated me for being too naïve and optimistic.
My mind raced with undermining thoughts. “What on earth made me believe I could help this group develop a strategic plan to achieve any goal, let alone one they seemed to find so impossible?”
My stockpile of methods to handle discord is substantial, but something happens to me when I walk into a group of people who resist working towards a positive goal. Their resistance debilitates me and I let myself be sucked into their downward spiral.
On the way home I realized that I was harboring negative judgments about the scientists, and was holding them personally culpable for committing “verbal crimes” against their company and me. My impulse was to call their boss and tell him that the sessions just wouldn’t be productive and to cancel them.
Magnify What’s Best, Focus on What’s Next
The principle,
Magnify What’s Best, Focus on What’s Next, requires that you be keenly aware of who you are and what you want to achieve – even while navigating demanding, chaotic situations and responding to the priorities of others.
One secret to staying on course is to
keep even your smallest achievements in the forefront of your mind. Make what you’ve been able to acomplish more important than what you haven’t.
ABT Real Stories : Russell's Story
I am constantly amazed by how creative we can be when we work together and enthusiastically pursue our goals.
My partners and I meet for our regular Monday 8:15a.m.
"water cooler” conversation to set the week’s agenda. We think together, plan together, and speak with one voice. Our day opens on that harmonic chord and we’re off and running.
At 9:00a.m. I meet with our Director of Marketing to brainstorm “big impact” business development ideas. There is nothing more energizing and confidence building than creating new paths forward.
This Monday we’re proposing a new performance management coaching process to our insurance company client. My partner Terri meets me in the lobby. We have a quick conversation about our roles in the meeting. Terri agrees to take the lead.
In the elevator we chat about where Terri can take her family for spring break and discuss a recent successful personnel development program for another client.
Terri and I sit across from each waiting for the meeting to begin. Terri is thumbing through the proposal one more time. She looks calm and sure of herself. I think about how much our firm relies on Terri’s expertise and how much I admire her strong commitment to developing people. As a partner, coach, wife, mother, and friend, Terri lives out her main purpose in life - to help people see who they are born to be and do their best.
I notice that my
energy and
enthusiasm are rising. The pace of the morning, my focus on the growth of our firm, and my deep appreciation for Terri have all buoyed my expectations for this meeting.
I see our client at the door, and realize I am sitting on the edge of my seat as I rise to shake his hand.
This moment of positive anticipation is a clear product of my noticing and appreciating the assets all around me – especially the qualities in Terri that I admire and want to emulate.
ABT Activity for Today: Practice the 5 to 1 Rule
Think about who you are and how
you add value. Make a list of at least 5 personal assets (strengths, talents, skills and virtues) that make a significant contribution to your effectiveness. Next, think of 1 deficit (limitation, shortcoming, or weakness) that is the most significant barrier to your effectiveness. Now think about the challenges and opportunities you currently face.
How can you leverage the 5 personal assets you have listed in meeting your challenges and realizing your opportunities?
This is called the
5 to 1 rule.
Focus on 5 assets for every 1 deficit. Put this rule into practice to build your own momentum and the momentum of others who matter to you.
Helpful Chinese Proverbs
A set of helpful Chinese Proverbs for you to read:
- A little impatience will spoil great plans.
- Even a hare will bite when it is cornered.
- A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
- If you bow at all, bow low.
- A smile will gain you ten more years of life.
- A bird does not sing because it has an answer.
It sings because it has a song.
- Behave toward everyone as if receiving a guest.
- A fall into a ditch makes you wiser.
- Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one.
- He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.
- An inch of time is an inch of gold but you can't buy that inch of time with an inch of gold.
- A closed mind is like a closed book; just a block of wood
- Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.
- A book holds a house of gold.
- Talk does not cook rice.
- Experience is a comb which nature gives us when we are bald.
- Be not afraid of growing slowly, be afraid only of standing still.
- To know the road ahead, ask those coming back.
- A needle is not sharp at both ends.
- Distant water won't help to put out a fire close at hand.
- Small men think they are small; great men never know they are great.
- Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.
- Want a thing long enough and you don't.
- Clear conscience never fears midnight knocking.
- I was angered, for I had no shoes.
Then I met a man who had no feet.
- Men trip not on mountains they trip on molehills.
- Do not want others to know what you have done?
Better not have done it anyways.
- A man without a smiling face must not open shop.
- It is not the knowing that is difficult, but the doing.
- Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day.
Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.
- Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
- A bird can roost but on one branch, a mouse can drink not more than its fill from a river.
Assess Current Situations with Asset Based Thinking
At any given moment, in the privacy of your own mind,
assess what is working, what is moving forward, what has opened up, and your progress. Make these observations even if there are all consuming front-burner issues that are dominating your attention. Use your mind like a split screen TV – watch how you are handling the immediate issues and note what has facilitated your progress, opportunities that have arisen and how you have leveraged them.
A healthy bonus of Asset Based Filters
There is a very healthy bonus to living through your
Asset Based Thinking filters. You will be relatively unaffected by the angry outbursts, accusatory language, difficult behavior and scapegoating of others. Instead, you will be able to deflect their disturbing behavior, suspend judgment, and investigate the interests, needs and motives beneath the surface that fuel this negative behavior.
Relate Assets to Daily Trials and Tribulations
When you encounter trials and tribulations, remember that intitial feelings of anxiety are natural, but limiting. The alarm/alert reaction narrows your perspective. It prevents you from seeing countless opportunities to expand your own competencies and strengthen relationships as you deal with daily challenges and happenstances.
Dont Try To Be Perfect All The Time
Make a mistake on
purpose. Commit an error that detracts from your effectiveness. Investigate where that leads you.
* Drive the “wrong way” to work so it takes twice as long. Find out what you appreciate about the new route and extended travel time.
* Turn to the “wrong” section of the newspaper something you normally wouldn’t read. Scan the headlines and discover something cool you never would have found before.
Asset Based Thinking liberates you from the pointless need of striving for “perfection”
Asset Based Thinking : Just think of the possibilities
People from all walks of life - professionals in business, in athletics, in medicine and consulting, people who manage, lead and sell - mothers, fathers, teachers, journalists, administrators - surpass their current levels of excellence and achievement just by shifting, ever so slightly,
the way they see everything.
Just think what could be possible if people focused most of their attention on:
- Opportunities rather than problems
- Strengths more than weaknesses
- What can be done instead of what can’t
Asset Based Thinking : Follow the lead of the U.S. Army
The U.S. Army practices
debriefing its personnel after major military operations as a way of understanding what works and doesn’t and how it might be done differently next time. This after-action review process is an
Asset-Based approach that builds on both mistakes and triumphs.
